I know my daughters are angry with me. They won't respond to anything I send them or any calls I make to them.

I wonder if they even get what I send to them? I know there is a barrier between us called their mother. She has completely distorted their thoughts and beliefs. She is not above intercepting my communications. Even the emails. She has masterfully orchestrated thier isolation from my life while telling everyone that she does not interfere. It is sad and scary that she is able to manipulate so well.

I hope that someday my daughters will want to know and understand both sides of this story of their lives and bring themselves to rise above the perverted distortions of their lives as they know them now.

To my daughters,

I post this here hoping you have better luck reading it here than in you inboxes. For some reason I have had more responce from you here than anywhere else since the divorce.

If you can hear me somehow please hear that I love you both. There is not a day I don't think and worry about you.
Know also that I didn't walk away from you as you have been led to believe. There has been someone standing in the way of our knowing each other. She has not begun to honor or support the agreement she made with me that would have allowed us a chance to build a relationship.

I have beat my head against the wall she has built around you for the last seven-plus years. The only difference between this time and the 17-plus years I lived with you is my absence. She built the wall the day you both were born. I never had the chance with you at all. This last attempt at contact with you is yet another example. You slam me here in this forum for not communicating with you. I tried again. You don't respond - again. I can do no more at this point but wait and hope that someday you'll want to know the full story.

My biggest regret is that you ended up in a life of anger, deceipt and manipulation. I know more than anyone I'm not a saint by any means and did some really shitty things. Again, knowing me and my side of it all may enable you to understand and accept things and move on. You are not being allowed to release your anger and resentment with me. If your dear mother would have really wanted that for you she would have not only supported it but encouraged it. Instead she has manipulated you into believing I should be hated and ignored and pushed as far away from your lives as possible.

I can't believe you still think that is what I want IF you can somehow see through the wall.

I love you now and forever,

Dad

Welcome to dA

--

_{I'll see you at the cemetery, and then we'll be together again.}